The Reason for the Season

YAY!!!..25 days to Christmas and counting down. Cant wait, its one of my favourite times of the year.... or it used to be. 

When I was younger, Christmas was such a big deal for my family and I, we went all out, the big tree, the large, awfully bright decorations, the cooking, the "Christmas dresses" (that was my favourite part as a child), the hampers, and best of all, my whole family being together for at-least a week. It was something to look forward to, and then on Christmas day we'd all get dressed and go to church no matter what day of the week it was.

It was always beautiful, it was Jesus's birthday. 

As a child I always knew about Santa, who didn't? but he was never a big part of my Christmas, I loved watching movies about him and cartoons about him but that was about it, my Christmas was always about baby Jesus. Somehow I thought that was how the rest of the world saw Christmas, I was wrong. 

As I got older I began to see how commercialised Christmas had gotten, I say "gotten" because I refused to believe that it was always like that. I started to see that a large part of the world saw Christmas as a time to receive and give gifts and just that. Don't get me wrong that's one of my favourite parts of Christmas too but it goes beyond that. 

Its not about what you get or what you buy, infact its so sad that this is the period when people incur debts the most, i couldn't believe it, buying things you cant afford and going into the new year broke is not what Christmas is about, atleast not to me.

I see Christmas as a time to celebrate the birth of Jesus, I'm not even comfortable with cards that say "merry Xmas" , cause they've just put a large 'X' over the most important part of the word. 

I guess what I'm trying to say is however we decide to celebrate Christmas, let's try not to forget the real reason for the season.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas.

Ten things about me.

Haven't been on this thing for a while now...got caught up in the reality of school..coursework and shit...ugh..schools sucks!. Any way i missed blogging so I'm back, as usual with nothing meaningful to say but whatever..bear with me...lol.

so heres ten things about me..hope you find this interesting

1. I'm peaceful. no really...i just love quiet places and quiet things..(sometimes)

2. I'm crazy..yup a proper nutcase. i like to think i could be the craziest person you'd ever meet *wink*

3. I love music.... with my heart and soul, cant imagine a world without music...gosh..

4. I'm nonchalant (koyin forced me to write this..). apparently i'm too lax and too chilled (like thats a bad thing..*rolling eyes*...lol)

5. I love to daaaaance!!!!!!!!!!...my favourite past time...(a friend said its worrying sometimes..lol)

.6. I love books. I'm dead for them..my favourite writers are Dan brown and some guy, i cant remember his now but he's really good.

7. I'm funny. Or i like to think i am and my friends seem to think i am too.
8. I absolutely hate embarrassment and embarrassing situations. That's quite sad for me seeing as i seem to get them A LOT! X_X
9. err..I'm out of things to say now....
10. oh yh..i forgot to say I am BEAUTIFUL..true story..lol.

Because you were blood.

I loved you because you were blood,
but you screwed me over in more ways than one.
I forgave you over and over..because I was young,
but you threw that back in my face,I guess you were just dumb.
So I prayed for your death, no point in you living and me hating you, because you were blood,
Ha..how things work out according to plan.
Now you're gone and still cant forget you,
because you were blood.

A lost Art.

Do you remember when people still used to go on dates?. Like proper dates where the guy actually made an effort to make the day amazing for the girl, and he'd pick her up from her house and be all nervous because he'd want the date to go just like he planned? ..yh I know..seems like a world away doesn't it?

What happened to those times, i mean I've had a conversation go like this one time:

                            GUY: ok you know what? lets go on a date

                             ME: (obviously in shock) what? are serious?

                            GUY: yh sure, there nothing wrong with being cheesy sometimes

                             ME: *hangs up the phone*

Now this conversation went south for two reasons, (1) cause i knew he was only trying to get me in his bed (but that's not the point), (2) cause he felt going on a date was "cheesy" and wrong. 

It seems with our generation everything is now fast tracked so people skip the whole "meeting and getting to know you" process and replace it with a few bb's and text messages or in some particular sad cases DM's and voilà! you have yourself the 21st century equivalent of the dating process. When you think about it its kind of sad isn't it.

Don't get me wrong though I'm not saying you should pull out all the stops and fly this girl/guy to Paris and have diner on the Eiffel just cause you like them..(although that wouldn't be so bad,,lol) all I'm saying is it'd be nice to put a little effort sometimes when you're trying to get that guy/girl.

HIS LOVE 101

If you have never lost
how will you know He restores?

If you have never lacked
how will you know He's the great provider?

If you have never sinned
how will you know He forgives?

If you have felt no hurt
how will you know He's the great comforter?

If you have never fallen
how will you know He's always ready to carry you?

You see not every misfortune is life being a bitch,
sometimes its just a continuation of the many lessons He needs to teach.

So the next time you're feeling bad or sad or lost,
take your self out of the situation for a bit and look for the upside
because it may just be God giving you the next lesson in HIS LOVE 101

Happy Birthday Mum

Its a very special day for me..guess why.....oh ok I'll tell you................*pause for dramatic effect*...................<<<<<ITS MY MUMS BIRTHDAY>>>>>. Yes that's right its my mothers birthday today, for those of you who don't know today is even more important to me than my birthday. I really am very happy that God has added another year to her life and i will forever be grateful. Sad that I'm not actually with my mum today but i wrote her a lil something and I'm confident that she knows just how happy for her I am and how I much I love her.

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For all the times you said to me "my baby i love you no matter what".....

For all the times you prayed for me, gosh where would i be without those prayers...

For all the times you let me make my own mistakes, wow how hard that must have been for you, too bad you have more years of that coming.. :).....

For all the times i messed up and you didn't scold me...and also for the times you did...

For all the times you held me close..and didn't judge or say i told you so...and you just let me hug you and cry..

For all the times you sacrificed things for me..the ones i know about and the ones i don't...

For all the times i heard you say "its going to be ok now mummy is here".. that's my best one because its always true...

For all those times mum i wanna thank you. 

Thank you for all those times and more, however difficult or easy they might have been.

I love you tres much.

Happy Birthday Mum!

A normal post.

A little while before now i thought blogging was easy, i mean how hard could it be, sign in, write some shit and sign out..haha if only i knew. I decided to update this thing today yh, but then a friend said to me "i don't really get your blog sha, u have 3 posts and 2 of them are sad and weird". Ok she didn't use those exact terms but you get my point, anyway so i scrapped my original idea and here i am trying to create a 'normal post' and i am totally blank. I thought if i just came on here I'd get some kinda inspiration and magically have something to blog about, dont get me wrong my life is NOT boring but the things that interest me are weird and sometimes controversial. Anyway this was my attempt at a normal post, and i must say i learnt something, you cant force inspiration..lol...no really though. and just so you know this is my last attempt at a 'normal post'. I'll post whatever comes to me at the time.

Memories.

last night before i went to bed, i started to think about memories. Good ones, bad ones and sad ones. i thought about how lovely it would be to have the choice to erase some and keep some. But then the question of which one to erase came up. you see a normal person would think i'd say the bad  ones, but which ones are bad?? which ones can i completely call useless??.
in  the end (cuz this took a while..lol) i came to the conclusion that every memory is important. Good bad or sad. they are memories beacuse they are revisited..now why would you erase something you seem to check on alot?

so i wrote a lil something bout how i felt about some of my memories.

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I lay flowers at your tombstone not just for you but me
to me remind me that your gone and you can no longer torment me

they dont understand, they think its bizzare
that i constantly revisit a place i seem to dread
they dont know like i do that every flower i lay down
is just another nail in your coffin

every step i take on the place where you lie
is a step closer to the smiles you took from me.

they seem to think i shld let the dead be dead,
they dont understand that i do this not spite you
i do this beacuse i must.
they dont get that my sanity is dependent on the flowers i lay on your gave.

flowers not tears.

i lay them at your tombstone not just for you but me.